One more step…

 

img-20170108-wa0006

As I go on my journey now it all feels very real. Leicester tomorrow. Publishing meeting the next day. Self-publishing is the path I’ve chosen. My heart beats a little faster than it should. My mouth a little drier than is comfortable. It is only days after the ten-year anniversary of my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. Ten years as a stay-at-home mum. Ten years of raising Elliot and managing MS simultaneously. Ten years not teaching and working.

Nearly four of those years were spent at my kitchen table. Elliot’s laptop first. Then Allan’s Surface. Finally rising to the status of owning my own laptop as a writer in the latter months (Allan insisted!). Day in, day out. Week after week. Month into month. One year moved in to the next. Almost four years later I have a book ready to go to print. I am overwhelmed and anxious to move from the safety and security of my kitchen, back in to the outside world again after all this time. You see, it all started with me putting down a few lines to express myself and record my journey, to try in some way to make sense of everything that had happened. Writing was very kind to me, following the aggression and volatility of Multiple Sclerosis. I was safe once more in the surrounds of my home. I sat at my kitchen table, kettle nearby, healthy snacks galore with the central heating switch never far away! I got lost in my writing every time within seconds. It became my great, big, comfortable escape from the angry world that is MS.

But now that’s all changing. It’s getting nearer and nearer to publication. The demands on me are just beginning as my stomach clenches and I tell myself loud and clear that I must step up to the mark now. I never really planned this far ahead. But it’s here now and I don’t think the rest of the book world will afford me the comfort and security of my kitchen writing days. I have often said ‘onwards and upwards’, but it’s meaning feels much more literal and it’s task much more demanding of the ‘kitchen table girl’. I must not flinch, but stand firm in my belief that little old me with my wobbly legs and unruly balance can stand side by side with the best and the rest of the world.

I’ll return to my laptop, my kitchen and my writing one day soon. But first I have a job to do.

As I go on my journey now it all feels very real. Leicester tomorrow. Publishing meeting the next day. Self-publishing is the path I’ve chosen. My heart beats a little faster than it should. My mouth a little drier than is comfortable. It is only days after the ten-year anniversary of my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. Ten years as a stay-at-home mum. Ten years of raising Elliot and managing MS simultaneously. Ten years not teaching and working.

Nearly four of those years were spent at my kitchen table. Elliot’s laptop first. Then Allan’s Surface. Finally rising to the status of owning my own laptop as a writer in the latter months (Allan insisted!). Day in, day out. Week after week. Month into month. One year moved in to the next. Almost four years later I have a book ready to go to print. I am overwhelmed and anxious to move from the safety and security of my kitchen, back in to the outside world again after all this time. You see, it all started with me putting down a few lines to express myself and record my journey, to try in some way to make sense of everything that had happened. Writing was very kind to me, following the aggression and volatility of Multiple Sclerosis. I was safe once more in the surrounds of my home. I sat at my kitchen table, kettle nearby, healthy snacks galore with the central heating switch never far away! I got lost in my writing every time within seconds. It became my great, big, comfortable escape from the angry world that is MS.

But now that’s all changing. It’s getting nearer and nearer to publication. The demands on me are just beginning as my stomach clenches and I tell myself loud and clear that I must step up to the mark now. I never really planned this far ahead. But it’s here now and I don’t think the rest of the book world will afford me the comfort and security of my kitchen writing days. I have often said ‘onwards and upwards’, but it’s meaning feels much more literal and it’s task much more demanding of the ‘kitchen table girl’. I must not flinch, but stand firm in my belief that little old me with my wobbly legs and unruly balance can stand side by side with the best and the rest of the world.

I’ll return to my laptop, my kitchen and my writing one day soon. But first I have a job to do 

 

Advertisements
One more step…

One thought on “One more step…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s